This Week
The week started out with the flu, after a vomit and laundry filled weekend with the little one. Two parents out for the count for two, two and a half days or so. So zoned out and exhausted that I could barely keep up with the toddler zooming around the living room, coming perilously close to tripping on the coffee table... again. For once, the house was a mess and I didn't care. I didn't care about anything, work, money, bills, how dark our place is, spending the majority of my week working in a cave. I just enjoyed being home for a whole two days with my husband, once the nausea passed...
Wednesday, the stress came back, the craving for food, the need to clean the house. The craving for wine was replaced by a craving for chocolate, peanut butter, fruit and sugar. Frustration at the lack of peanut butter in the house.
Thursday, the warm weather has disappeared and there's a strong, cold wind, one that buries itself in your bones and you feel like you'll never get warm again. My want for food, good food and chocolate took hold. Made black bean and pablano chili quesadillas with a mango salsa for dinner, and no bake cookies for dessert.
Friday, the wind is gone, it's still cold and slate grey clouds cover the sky. The promise of snow is in the air. People are complaining about this storm killing plants. This is Colorado, you'd think they'd know better by now. My mind isn't focused on work. It's focused on a yard full of vegetables, flowers and chickens and debt. My heart pounds against my chest each time it drifts in that direction and I drift perilously close to a full blown panic attack.
My mind is stuck, on a yard for James to run around in. A full garden that can give us endless veggies through the summer, chickens for fresh eggs. A lower monthly payment, less debt, less worry and stress. Another baby. To have regular date nights. To maybe stay home and write, take photos. And only do that. On black nail polish and asparagus tarts. And the compliment he gave me this morning on the fact that I was wearing blush, for the first time ever in our relationship.
Chocolate Peanut Butter No Bake Cookies
1/2 stick butter (4 Tbsp)
1/2 C milk
1 C sugar
1/2 C peanut butter
handful of dark chocolate chips (about 1/3 C)
1/2 Tbsp vanilla
1 1/2 C oats
Bring sugar, butter and milk to a boil in a heavy bottomed saucepan on med-high heat.
Lower heat and add peanut butter, chocolate and vanilla, stir constantly until melted.
Remove from heat and add the oats.
Drop spoonfuls onto wax paper. Let cool and try not eat every last one.
Wednesday, the stress came back, the craving for food, the need to clean the house. The craving for wine was replaced by a craving for chocolate, peanut butter, fruit and sugar. Frustration at the lack of peanut butter in the house.
Thursday, the warm weather has disappeared and there's a strong, cold wind, one that buries itself in your bones and you feel like you'll never get warm again. My want for food, good food and chocolate took hold. Made black bean and pablano chili quesadillas with a mango salsa for dinner, and no bake cookies for dessert.
Friday, the wind is gone, it's still cold and slate grey clouds cover the sky. The promise of snow is in the air. People are complaining about this storm killing plants. This is Colorado, you'd think they'd know better by now. My mind isn't focused on work. It's focused on a yard full of vegetables, flowers and chickens and debt. My heart pounds against my chest each time it drifts in that direction and I drift perilously close to a full blown panic attack.
My mind is stuck, on a yard for James to run around in. A full garden that can give us endless veggies through the summer, chickens for fresh eggs. A lower monthly payment, less debt, less worry and stress. Another baby. To have regular date nights. To maybe stay home and write, take photos. And only do that. On black nail polish and asparagus tarts. And the compliment he gave me this morning on the fact that I was wearing blush, for the first time ever in our relationship.
Chocolate Peanut Butter No Bake Cookies
1/2 stick butter (4 Tbsp)
1/2 C milk
1 C sugar
1/2 C peanut butter
handful of dark chocolate chips (about 1/3 C)
1/2 Tbsp vanilla
1 1/2 C oats
Bring sugar, butter and milk to a boil in a heavy bottomed saucepan on med-high heat.
Lower heat and add peanut butter, chocolate and vanilla, stir constantly until melted.
Remove from heat and add the oats.
Drop spoonfuls onto wax paper. Let cool and try not eat every last one.
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